PERFECT PICTURE NIGHTMARE

    I was holding an apple in my hand, not really eating it yet; I was peeling it in the kitchen, shortly before lunch, when someone in the family called out,

     "Family Group Picture time!" I did not wanted to give up the apple because my palms were sticky with its juices.

    "Can it wait?" I asked through the kitchen's screen door.

    "It's impossible. “ " Naomi had to go to the store and get some more housekeeping supplies and Morris is heading out to see his classmates," Katherine replied, "

    "Later," I said, "I'm busy."

    "Adam, you come out here." "This is the first time the entire family has come together in many years.". "We'll all be together again on Sunday," I said, which is true because, after such a fantastic family vacation, there is a plan for us all to come together and enjoy an outdoor meal when we return to town.

     I started eating my apple fast and instantly regret the opportunity to enjoy it.

    I am just in a handful of photographs. My face is always in shadow, and I'm hard to identify in my wedding photographs, which are mostly of Kathy. She was so excited when she get to know that I havae arranged a wedding photographer for our marriage event, but that excitement could not last so long. Katherine began walking down the aisle in her Father's arm before I arrived at the wedding place.

    Before our vows, Katherine muttered through her veil, "Really?"

    Concerned that my wife could back out of her vows to such a camera-shy freak, I slightly adjusted my shoulders. She did, however, and the rest followed.

    "I absolutely understand and recognize that you feel uncomfortable in front of the camera, but Honey, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for us." She said that while looking straight into my eyes.

    Katherine walked into the kitchen and saw the apple segments I had separated in front of me, as well as a little pile of apple peels and pulp fragments.

    "Mmm," she exclaimed as she snatched intwo slices of my apple and stuffed them into her mouth one after the other.

    "Hey, leave some for me," I said as I picked up the final three pieces, chasing away uncomfortable thoughts of a group photo by inhaling the sweet aroma and focusing on the taste and feel of apple in my mouth, according to some anxiety-relieving tip, I had heard somewhere.

    "I will be out right now." In between chews, I said, "I'll take the photo."

    "Not now, not now," Katherine responded while shaking her head. Everyone is waiting for you in queue.

    Billie wishes to ride the horse of her next-door neighbor.

    "Huh, Are you serious? Did our niece, (who is just eleven years old) barge in and demand to ride her horse?"

    Katherine reached out and took my hand in hers. "You know, that's not the point." Come outdoors right now, before we all cramp.

    I imagined them all trapped in their best and finest snapshot posture as they were on the paused TV screen. The idea of putting the family on hold reminded me of a horrific family portrait I did when I was five years old, which may have been the reason of my photo phobia.

    The house had burned down because Mom had left something on the stove to go out and take part in the family photo. Yes obviously, it did not matter that Dad took so long to set up the camera on the tripod to take our perfect family picture.

    The next catastrophic shot was taken around the time of the Festival, perhaps that year or the year after. I wanted to photograph myself with a new light green blanket that my mother had received for Festival. My parents were astonished that I was so fascinated with a blanket but not that our Jasper dog liked it as well. My mother tried to convince me to put away the blanket so she could see me, but I was not going to lose to Mr. Jasper. The blanket was mine, but the Fair tree had been toppled and no one was able to place it back up. Mr. Jasper was at guilty, but I was in real trouble.

    My parents stopped taking family photos and grumbled about Grandma or another relative wanting shots of us. I'm not sure if it was because of that or something else. They pushed me to stay still and stare at the camera at Len's Photography Studio for a special, but I always managed to 'ruin the photo.'  My father thought we should be given discounts, but my mother persuaded him differently.

    My parents' acquaintances told me when I was about fifteen that I was becoming a handsome young man. This persuaded me to have one of my friends photograph me. "How could anything possibly be bad?" As we stepped outside, I pondered.

    The adults were clearly lying through their teeth. My face was covered in pimples and I looked silly in the shot. My pals edited it and dressed me up as a scary clown, then distributed copies to everyone in my class and invited them to a Halloween party at my house.

    When I first met Katherine, she had no idea how much of a camera phobic I'd become; she assumed I was camera shy at first and that I'd soon lose my phoney modesty. After our wedding, she was disappointed, but I persuaded her that I accepted her disappointment and that I made up for it in other ways. For example, I was quite wary of fire. She had given in, but only after explaining that the two of us had multiple issues and that marriage was all about compromise and accepting one another for who we were. (These are wise words.)

    That didn't stop her from nudging me and doing everything she could to get me to pose for photos with her.We agreed that I would wear a long-brimmed hat only when necessary.

    "You'll only get one shot of me." With my head bowed, I mumbled, "Let's just get this over with." "Wait a second. "Ch    eck it out," Morris pressed the screen of his phone and held it out for all to see and hear the video.

    I was peeling an apple in the kitchen and mumbling everything I thought I had been thinking in private. I snatched the phone and said, "Give me that."

    "Na, na." I'll delete it if you take a genuine family photo. "

Even the kids and Katherine were laughing at me.